When I first started work at Personal Advocacy Service, the move had begun to bring people with intellectual disability out of institutions and place them in houses in the local community. However, many of those people had been institutionalised for most of their lives and having to face different people in new environments proved to be quite traumatic.

The constant rotation of staff in the community/group homes was not helpful in this regard.

The process of building trust and confidence was a long, slow process.

When the Personal Advocacy program was developed, it centred on providing ongoing support for volunteers from the local community to spend time, one-on-one, with those with disabilities in order to develop a meaningful relationship. It provided a process whereby each person could meet on a regular basis in a community setting where they came to feel they belonged. Even though it was for a relatively short time each week or fortnight, it was constant and unchanged. This became ‘their place’, free from all the other stresses of life, where they could gradually relax and unwind. From there they began to venture forth into the wider community – to experience the fullness of life.

This was also the time when parents of younger children with disabilities were looking for more support. They were seeking ways for their offspring to be included in the outside world, just as their brothers and sisters were. They wanted them to be accepted amongst their peers, and not be entirely dependent on their families. Again, the Personal Advocacy program provided a way forward for those lucky enough, and brave enough, to be involved. The community volunteers with whom they were linked needed to be sufficiently mature and able to give the time to be a ‘friend’ – one who could be trusted to be there when times got tough. It proved to be much appreciated by the parents as they were able to take a step back, knowing there was someone else who cared about their child.

Since those early days, times have definitely changed for the better. People with disabilities are much more visible in the community, and there much is on offer within the school system. The opportunities for meaningful employment are gradually increasing, and people are being recognised for the special gifts they have to offer. The community is being enriched in so many ways by their presence.

However, one thing that has not changed, and will not change, is each person’s need for deep and lasting friendships. One needs more than just acquaintances they meet in school, in their place of employment, on the sporting field, or just out and about in the community. Real friendship for someone with a disability does not come about naturally. It requires a real effort on the part of others to see that the time and opportunity is there for such friendships to develop. There are many wonderful people in the community who have shown they are open to this, but they need some sort of structure to support them and encourage them to hang in over the long term.

The Personal Advocacy program is ideally suited to this purpose, with its strong spiritual basis that gives meaning to the whole concept of relationship. It gives a reason for being, it enables individuals to feel they belong, to feel that they are special in someone else’s eyes.

The unique friendships that I have witnessed over all the years, amongst young and old, have been truly awe-inspiring.

Leonie Reid